Daddy’s Day

I won’t lie.

Father’s Day has been looming for weeks. I don’t even like the Hallmark Holiday, but I’m still struggling and I’ve procrastinated writing this post over and over again. Now…..it’s 5:30am on Father’s Day and here I am.

Church is doing a photo stream at church this Sunday and as I peruse photos for our family, so many photos of Dad and I slap me in the face. I still cry.

A lot.

I know it’s ok.

I know it takes time

I know I can be sad

I know

I know I know I know

As I struggle with the holiday, I don’t like it. I don’t like being out of control.

I want and try to allow myself to think outside of my own little world and think of others who might not be excited about Fathers Day either.

How about the others who don’t have the privilege of having their earthy father anymore. I feel ya friends. 6 months and counting.

What about those who don’t have a relationship with their father? I am so grateful for having a father who loved me with every ounce of himself. I am sad for those who don’t have that.

How about those whose father wasn’t kind, or gentle, or loving or even around?

My Father might not still live on the earth with me but I know that one day we will be together again.

The fathers I will celebrate today are some of the best

This picture, every time makes me smile

Steve and his father. So proud and such wonderful fathers.

My husband, the best father.

Loves his kids.

Loves me.

His kids are now grown. As a young father, working so hard to provide for his young family, there is not much time for just fun. It’s so much about putting food on the table and paying the Dr bills for the endless ear infections. Clothes and shoes, school and extracurricular activities .

His children never needed for anything.

They knew then and they still know now the depth of his love for them

I now have the privilege to watch him as a Pops to a little boy who thinks he’s the bees knees. Better than sliced bread and one of his favorite people in the world.

The other father I am honored to watch every day is my son in law.

The father to my grandson

He loves God most

I get to watch him love his wife

He gives of of his time and talents hoping that one day his son will follow

He loves on his son and let’s him to know that he will always be there. I listen as he shares his love and reinforces how incredibly blessed he is to be his dad.

I watch my friends slay daddy-hood. It’s not an easy job.

It is one of the most important jobs on the planet.

I miss you Dad and today will be a difficult one but out of every daddy ever made, I wouldn’t change that you were mine.

I’m getting up now to get ready for church. There will be lots of daddy’s to hug today. Waterproof mascara will be a must.

I love you Dad.

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A First for Everything

Hey Dad!

It’s your birthday today! Yeah I know….. we don’t celebrate birthdays for people your age. But 81 isn’t anything to sneeze at.

How’s heaven on your birthday? Did the angels sing HBD to you, HBD to you. HBD dear Pee Wee, HBD to you. Did you do your trademark high pitched note at the end? Of course you did?

Did you have some pie? We all know it’s your favorite.

I’ve been dreading today for weeks. Why?

Well, you’ve been gone for almost six months and some days can almost seem normal without you here. Most days, it’s still a struggle but holidays and now your birthday floods the heart with memories and missing you.

And of course Facebook reminds me almost everyday the things we did together.

Like today…. I had blogged about your birthday in 2017. Here’s the picture.

We look cute.

You can read the post from last year here:

https://abandoned547.com/2017/06/05/stay-the-course/

Last weekend we played dominoes for the first time since you left with Kate and Charity. Those McKuhen girls are the best.

Kate won. She said she needed to take the lead since you weren’t here to win. We talked about how much we missed you. We laughed a lot and it was fun.

Today, Mom and I needed to stay busy. It’s easier when there are things to do.

So we sealed the fence.

It was hot and dirty but it didn’t rain!

Look close! We hung out Papas Garden sign. Your garden is going to be so beautiful and you would have been so proud.

Mom did really good today. She said she didn’t cry all day. She brushed and I rolled. We make a good team

We decided to go out to dinner for your birthday and eat chicken wings since they were your favorite.

Kate and Charity might miss you as much as we do. We laughed and had a great time. Jack has his first bite of lemon. That will have to wait until next time. The wings were outstanding.

My friends sent me messages early this morning knowing that today would be a hard day. I decided that I would fill my day with celebration instead of mourning.

This message was sent to me. I just assume all daughters and daddy’s have a special relationship. I’m sad that they don’t.

“I never really thought much about what a “gift” fathers were till I met you and your dad. 😍”

Today was a good day.

Your first birthday away.

I sure do miss you.

Happy Birthday Daddy.

Love,

Baby Girl

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Mother’s Day Take-Away

Mother’s Day is everyday

Mom is my favorite title

Grandma (BB) is my newest title

Every year on a Sunday in May, the world celebrates Mother’s.

We attend church together.

I watch my daughter be a Mommy.

I watch friends with their new son

It’s no secret I do not like Mother’s Day, the holiday.

It’s commercialized.

It opens wounds for women as they struggle with infertility or the loss of a child. Some children no matter how old no longer have a mother to celebrate It pours salt in the wounds that are already bleeding .

The teaching yesterday was spot on for me. We have been learning about Noah. Yes, Noah was the hero of the story but what about the people behind the scenes? What about Noah’s wife and children? What if Noah’s wife, who is not mentioned, said “no way” to the ark?

You, we, me……do not have to be there hero of the story. You, we, me can be the support. You, me, we can be behind the scenes. As I watch the Moms in my life be the support, I’ve always known the importance, however yesterday teaching brought it back to the forefront.

My Mom, so quiet but so strong. Always the helper. Always the supporter.

My daughter, new Mommy, strong and resilient. Cares for another human being no matter.

Me, the faithful helper. Half of an amazing team. Mom to many. Some blood and some not.

My tribe, I watch and do life with women who continue to be the best Mother’s they can be. They fight for their kids and leave them at the cross more than once. They question decisions and forward motions of their kids. I stand next to strong powerful women of God who propel motherhood into another level of greatness.

I will continue to celebrate mother’s everyday.

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Too Much Cherry Coke and Heels on Friday Night

Most Friday nights we enjoy dinner at home and maybe a movie. We might even be rebellious and take a walk around the neighborhood.

Sometimes we meet friends for dinner.

Tonight we were invited out for a graduation celebration.

Fun! Let’s dress up and enjoy a night out.

Not often does an occasion call for dressing up but why not? Let’s go for it. I had purchased a new dress while in Miami with my tribe a few weekends ago. I even put on heels.

I sound ridiculous even writing this. Heels? So what. Ok well, my retired role rarely calls for heels so it’s a special occasion……

We gather at the restaurant and enjoy some delicious food. I have been trying hard to cut down on the soda lately so on this special occasion, I enjoy a cherry coke, my soda of choice.

Currently it is 1:46am and I am still awake listening to Mr. Slumber enjoy his restful enjoyment. I’m jealous. I will think twice next time when ordering a drink at 6pm. Is this middle age? No caffeine after……5?

Whatever.

My coffee will need to be strong tomorrow. It’s Jack Birthday party and I will not be sleepy.

I will not be sleepy

I will not be sleepy

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It’s Your Birthday!

Dear Jack,

I missed blogging on your birthday, but I didn’t miss the day. It was a fun day!

One year ago,  you entered into the world and into our family. You were loved for months even before you were born.

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I’ll never forget the Sunday lunch when your Mommy and Daddy told us you were on the way. The customers at Beef O’Brady’s wondered what was wrong with that crazy woman screaming. Now it’s already been a whole year! Happy Birthday sweet baby boy.

This last year has been full of so much joy. You! Now we could never imagine a day without you.

While scrolling through pictures, my heart aches and bursts with joy all in the same breath. I’m so grateful for moments and memories.

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The moments shared on the porch swing are priceless

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The lack of sleep and unending devotion by your Mommy

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We celebrated with so many the day your Mommy and Daddy dedicated to raise you with Gods help

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One day I’ll tell you how much your Pappa loved you.

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Some pictures are just because.

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Your had your first visit to the pumpkin patch

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Your Pops loves you as much as you love him.

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Wedding day memories with Great PawPaw

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Such a happy baby

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Teaching you the importance of being kind and generous to our neighbors when we passed out Christmas goodies

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Christmas has a whole new excitement with a baby

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You learned Infant Survival Swimming

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We celebrated mommy’s birthday with Uncle Kyle

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More porch swinging

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Warm weather means outside and drinking from the hose

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You got your first real boo boo

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There are times when you sit still

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Easter was fun!

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Fire pit with the Uncles is a favorite pastime.

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Baby Peekaboo is my favorite

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Porch sittin is Jack and BB’s thing

We sing and laugh and play. We watch the cars. Cars are your favorite. Your Great Papa giggles from heaven every time you say “caaar” like you live in Boston.

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This doesn’t even need a caption.

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You started going to HopeKids!!! You are such a big boy.

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You are so silly

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You have leaned to maneuver alone and you make yourself heard from all parts of our home.

You are an expert stair climber.

We spoke last night about how many words you can say and if you are on target with the experts recommendations. We counted over 15 words you say. However B.B. is not one of them. Why little man will you not say my name? Everyone else at home gets notified when they are in the room with you. Am I anxious for you to include me in your names? Yes of course. However when you crawl quickly towards me, smiling from ear to ear while laughing and screaming Hi!! I will accept whatever you want to do and whatever you want to call me.

I have documented every month for your first year and as I look back, I am so grateful for moments to jog the sometimes vague memories.

You, my sweet boy, will forever be the first grandchild. You taught us what it was like to be a Pops and a B.B. and we will always treasure your first year of life.

Friends that are already grandparents told us that it would be amazing and that there was nothing like it. They were right. It is an unexplained love for another human being. You, Jack William Wissinger have surpassed our hopes and dreams.

Here’s your first day as a one year old.

Happy Birthday sweet baby boy! We could not love you more.

Saturday we celebrate!!!

BB

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Inside Table Turned to Outside Table

This cool table once belonged to my blonde haired sweet friend.

I did not remember to take a picture of the before but it was lovingly handmade and it spoke to me. I knew when she offered it to me, it would be perfect. I had the perfect spot floating around in my crazy little head.

However it’s original size was too wide so the below picture was taken after it was taken apart, one whole board was removed and then it was put back together.

It’s current dark stain doesn’t go with my color scheme so I decided to give it a paint job.

First comes primer

Then it was final coated and taped up for some stripes.

I think there might be a theme here. Did you see the attic stairs?

So cute!!! Love love love grain sack stripes.

The chairs are a whole other sorry.

I was driving to church one Sunday evening and Sunday nights are when people put their trash by the curb around here.

I spotted these beauties on the curb and immediately turned around and loaded them in my car.

A little rust and ugly won’t stop me.

Take them apart and sand off the rust. Come on people it’s surface rust!!! Sand it off.

Sand Daniel-son.

Spray paint those beauties.

Then clean up the chair part and spray paint those too.

Put them back together and poof….you have practical new chairs for the price of a few cans of spray paint and dirty nails for a few days.

The best part?

I found the chair on the internet and they were $60 a piece. What??

The final product fits perfectly under the roof line on our back deck. A cute little bench painted with the same stripes and my almost free chairs will make the perfect place for sweet lunches with my favorite little boy, ice cream on a sunny afternoon or family dinners with some sweet friends.

Have a great week!

Charma

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Girl Tribe Weekend

Yes I have a girl tribe.

It started with one girl and now there are two.

We had the opportunity to meet in Miami for a few days. One currently works in St. Croix and two are at home.

There was driving and flying in order to be together.

It was worth it.

We had watched the weather for weeks. Was it going to rain? Would it be sunny and wonderful?

Well we live in Florida so each day it would be different. We would screen shot the weather app every few days either with excitement seeing the sun shine or disappointment seeing the rain.

The weather did not matter. If it rained we would sit in the hotel and watch the storm roll in. If it was sunny we sit by the pool. What mattered is that we were together.

It was sunny!

It was beautiful!

We gathered our belongings and headed for the pool.

Our hotel was located by the airport. It was fascinating to watch the airplanes land and take off. Airplanes are convenient and I’ll ride them but wow I just don’t get them.

There were iguanas that loved the celery from our pool neighbors Bloody Mary. The same neighbor that invited us to New York to eat at his Cannoli Restaurant. Can you say awkward?

The day was spent talking and catching up. We had not been together since March and there was much to say.

There were transparent moments and discussions on personal growth. There was laughter and tears. That’s what makes your tribe a tribe. Being yourself. Allowing for moments that the shell cracks, allowing for emotions to flow when the majority of life it is held deep inside. It’s freedom. It’s raw. It’s uncomfortable .

It’s necessary.

When you stay in the same hotel room with people, there are many different obstacles.

Who sleeps with who?

Who makes noises in the night and who might not stay in the bed when they sleep? Who talks? Who snores? Who ninnies like a horse? I will never tell…….

I will conclude with my favorite event of the weekend.

We all go to church together.

We all have a relationship with Jesus.

There was never a doubt that we would watch church online together.

We crawled into bed and turned on the IPad.

There was singing during worship

I took notes during the teaching

I looked to my right and she was talking notes

I look to my left and she’s taking notes.

My tribe all follow Jesus. He is the leader of my girl tribe.

During the weeks we are apart, it is common to talk about the Sunday teaching from the week. It is common to ask for prayer for ourselves or someone in our lives. It is common to share great things that have happened. It is common to share funnies and maybe not so funnies.

My girl tribe is very important to me. Aside from my family, they are my people. My safe place.

Until next time girls.

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